When you go through a tough time in your life you start to look at the choices you have made up until that point. And if you are anything like me you will have a few regrets. And after a while these regrets can begin to weigh you down.
They are tricky too. They might be overt things like cheating on your wife (which I’ve never done), or more subtle things like wasting hours of every day playing video games (which I often do).
And you get to a point where you just need to ask yourself, “What are you doing, really?“
Sometimes I think bloggers are destined to wander in mediocrity for the rest of their careers. They have a few subscribers, get a few visitors but never really do anything substantial with it all.
But that isn’t the curse. Actually the curse is more about the fact that we don’t own up to the fact that we caused this shitty state of existence. The curse is that we blame Google or the competition or the lack of time in our lives to make it work.
Its a form of laziness. We would rather spend two hours reading some other blog than working on our own. We would rather spend money buying someone else’s product instead of creating one ourselves. We find and endless stream of distractions in the pursuit of more knowledge or a magic cure-all that is going to skyrocket us into the heavens of pro blogging.
So, every once in a while I ask myself, “What are you doing, really?“
And why are we doing it in the first place? Why are we spending all this time struggling to write new amazing content just so we can make a few measly dollars?
Wouldn’t we be better off getting a “real” job that pays a “real” wage and gives you more time after work to play sport, see your kids or kiss your wife? Why are we so intent on making this blogging thing pay our way full time?
Is it because you have something to say on your blog? Is it because you want to help someone? Are you trying to make money so you can help someone in a less fortunate situation?
Making it work is one thing. Having a good reason is more important. So sometimes I ask myself, “What are you doing, really?“
Regret is a really nasty little thing. It will come back to bite you again and again in your life. So if you love blogging, want to change your own working situation or, better yet, help a few people out there, you owe it to yourself to make it work; not leave six weeks between articles.
Again and again I need to remind myself to be vigilant and catch every type of laziness when it comes up. Fear of failure, fear of success, small blog syndrome, big bad workplace fear.
I have a lot of regrets. And the funny thing is that it isn’t anything big that upsets me. Its the sum of all the little ones. The 30 minutes wasted here and there that will, eventually, add up to a life time of mediocrity.
I don’t care if I never become super rich or influential. I do care, very much, that I wasted the opportunities that I had to help myself, and help others.
So more and more now I am going to be asking myself, “What are you doing, really?”